Monday, October 23, 2006

I'm So Excited To Hear...Squiggy?

     Well, I'm fixin' to jump on my high horse and gallop around the MS Corral again...Yee Haw!  Everybody just sit back for a spell and hear me out now and if'n you still wanna string me up when I'm finished, well then...we'll talk.

    The header line is absolutely correct.  I'm registered via MSActive Source to go hear "Squiggy"/David Lander speak here in Seattle on Wednesday.  Why, you might ask?  Simply put,  because I am already going to be downtown nearby at a workshop and MSActive Source promises "complimentary parking and free hor d oeuvres"!  A place to park and free food charged to one of the Mega Conglomerate Pharma companies?  Who could ask for more...

     OK, first things first...hats off to Mr. Lander for coming out of the MS closet and becoming one of the "poster children" for Multiple Sclerosis.  He didn't HAVE to and he didn't for quite a while...he's from that fine land of HOLLYWOOD after all, where disease is only chic if you DON'T HAVE ONE or you have a TELETHON to raise money for one (unless, of course, you have breast cancer...then all the world is your stage!).  Let's face it...nobody wants to see a gimpy movie star on the big screen and Paramount isn't going to PAY their sick days while in the middle of shooting a TV show or movie.

     Now, pardon me for my sins in saying this next bit because I just know it isn't going to come out the way I'm thinking it (somebody grab the rope!)...I just gotta say it anyway.  Approximately 400,000 people in the USA are diagnosed and living with Multiple Sclerosis and you mean to tell me out of ALL THAT BIG PERCENT we only get Richard Pryor, Annette Funicello, Clay Walker, Teri Garr, and SQUIGGY!?!?  What's up with THAT math???  And I know, dear MDMHVONPA, you tried to assert in the comments the other day that the lovely Janet Reno has MS, but it's simply not true...there's definitely "something" wrong with her (besides Parkinson's), but it's just NOT MS...AND, it's also not because she's a democrat either!!!  I digress...

     I don't wish Multiple Sclerosis on anyone...I'd prefer no one EVER be diagnosed with it again.  But don't you think there must be just one or two big stars still stuck in the MS closet?  Don't you think Tom Cruise or Sharon Stone know SOMEONE affected by MS that is close to them?  (OK, probably NOT Tom Cruise because he'd have them healed already with his sci-fi religion...I'm digressing again, aren't I?)

     I think if Hollywood is going to play the BLEEDING HEART GAME fairly, they need to divide up the stars in more even teams.  It's a given that Narcotics Anonymous gets Keith Richards and Ozzy Osbourne...that team can have 'em.  Weight Watchers gets Rosie O'Donnell and Chastity Bono.  Of course Breast Cancer gets Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow...they've already been singing about it.  Anorexia Nervosa gets Mary Kate Olson (or is it Ashley?) and that Alley McBeal chick...IF they haven't already died of starvation.  The Prostate Cancer team gained Lance Armstrong a few year's ago...excellent athletic pick...and the Diabetes team inducted that old dude from the movie, "Cocoon", a while back as well as singer, Anita Baker.  And let's not forget the entire roster of players for the non-disease teams like Farm Aid, Katrina Aid, and Tsunami Aid.  There's really not a whole lot left to pick from for the MS team really.

     There's so much to consider when picking Hollywood stars for the MS team.  Like, who's gonna bring in the biggest crowd for the donations?  Who's the best public speaker?  Who shows the greatest determination in the face of disease and disability?  Who's picture would look best on the cover of the Neurology Journal?  So MANY things to consider...

     I can't say that SQUIGGY/David Lander would have been my first round draft pick for the MS team...as a matter of fact, I doubt I would have picked him at all...I envisioned more of a Jack Nicholson-type pinch hitting for MY MS team...a bit unpredictable, wild and crazy.

     So what I will say is this:  Unfortunately David Lander didn't CHOOSE to be on myteam either...I'm sure he'd much rather play for the Facial Acne team or the Irritable Bowel team...I hear those team's workouts aren't nearly as strenuous as the MS team!  But SQUIGGY IS on my team...win or lose...and I'm glad to see he's still in the ballgame... 

9 comments:

sonyasuzanne said...

No, your wrong...Tom Cruise would say that MS is all in a person's head!!  And I've got the duck tape ready for you when they come.....I think a rope is just too dayum itchy, don't you?  

Janet Reno....MS?  Umm....mondovapova, how can that be?  

Dahlink, I loved your list of celeb's and maladies...but you forgot the penil disfunction group of oh gosh, whats his name...Grrrr.....and did you know that there is a legitimate name for erections that last longer than four hours???  I can't remember the name of that one either.  lol  It's my own form of Brain Cheese I'm suffering from.  By the way...where's my Tee-Shirt?  How can you get famous without 'em?

Oh well.... I tried.  I swear, it's just as well that we should go out, get famous and then be MS poster children.  Whadya think?

Sending lots of love...can you feel it?   =)



baitulos said...

SUZY:  Hehe hehe...YOU get famous first (instead of infamous) and the rest of us will follow!

LD

billibotton said...

David Lander is the Man! I went to his website months ago, and I've been keeping track! GLAD you get to go! (hurray!) Of course, we all expect a full, "Cheese" report....and hey, "complimentary parking and free hor d oeuvres" CANNOT be beaten with a stick! I know, I just tried! COULD NOT beat it! BOL, and hope you're well...now get out there and have a great experience! ~BB PS - listening to my old "harvest" from N.Y.....again, VERY therapeutic - let me know if you want to push your old Alice Cooper (really?) over, and make room fro Neil. I'll burn ya a copy....GL

baitulos said...

BILLIBOTTON:  A "Cheese" report...that makes me giggle outloud!  But, in the spirit of refraining from the "uncouth", I will not share my cutting "Cheese" jokes or comments...Aurk, aurk, aurk.  

And are you talking Neil Sedaka or Neil Diamond...Neil Armstrong??  (Don't tell, but I have a really old Neil Sedaka in MY collection!)

LD

billibotton said...

baitulos: "And are you talking Neil Sedaka or Neil Diamond...Neil Armstrong??  (Don't tell, but I have a really old Neil Sedaka in MY collection!)" - - Sorry for the mystery - I was talking Neil Young ("the Needle and the Damage Done"; "Tonight's the night"; "Heart of Gold", ad nauseum. Neil Sedaka?? really? lol...yur funneee...ark ark ark.....did I get that right? ~BB


BILLIBOTTON:  A "Cheese" report...that makes me giggle outloud!  But, in the spirit of refraining from the "uncouth", I will not share my cutting "Cheese" jokes or comments...Aurk, aurk, aurk.  

And are you talking Neil Sedaka or Neil Diamond...Neil Armstrong??  (Don't tell, but I have a really old Neil Sedaka in MY collection!)

LD

baitulos said...

BILLIBOTTON:  Oh, THAT Neil!!!  Doh!

LD

mdmhvonpa said...

You know, with all the drugs and stuff that the Hollywood suck down, maybe they never find out about the MS, just assume that it's the crack eating out their brains.

baitulos said...

MONDOPOVA:  You may be on to something here...but I think they just go to drug/alcohol rehab and call it a life!

LD

hagartyjj said...

I went to see him talk just after I was diagnosed two years ago.  He was very down to earth and funny!  I am glad you got to go to this.  

Jaime