Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I Saw Dawn's Crack Way Too Early This Morning...

     Yep...Dawn cracked and I had to sit up and take notice...something I normally would not participate in...like EVER!

     My friend from Bellingham arrived yesterday, finding the key under the mat, while I suffered through one of the busiest evenings in history at work...thank goodness for self-sufficient house guests.  I spent nearly 10 hours triaging phone calls and staff in record numbers...AND, I successfully managed to get in one or two pissing contests with psychiatrists (can females even HAVE pissing contests??).  Won several battles, but the war will never be over.

     I dragged myself in around 1:00am only to hear the quiet breathing sounds of my friend fast asleep behind closed bedroom door...MY bedroom door.  I don't have an official "guest room", so my guests get the Grand Poopa Suite...my private Beauty Rest sanctuary, and I retire to the unsafe quarters of the futon in the living room.

     Meha (kitten) greeted me at the door awake, alert, oriented, and ready to rumble...I'm sure she had been sleeping for nearly the entire 10 hours I was gone.  I'm also certain she has been practicing her Solid Gold Dancer moves in private when I am not home!  For nearly 3 hours, she "danced" and "pranced" across my face and body...it felt like Tina Turner in spiked stilettos, doing her rendition of "Proud Mary".  You've seen it...you KNOW the moves!

     I finally lapsed into a coma some time around 4:00am, I think...it's hard to be certain...I was delirious.  At 7:00am, I was awakened to the smell of coffee percolating in the Mr. Coffee maker...the thing I keep on hand for guests because I DON'T DRINK COFFEE.  That's right...I live in the shadow of Starbucks and I'm not a coffee drinker.  Sue me...I'm sure they're already thinking of ways to file the legal papers.

     Ms. Bellingham was preparing her morning cup o' Joe and trying to wake up enough to prepare for the drive to the airport...I was trying to figure out where the hell I was at and why I couldn't see!  Once the layers of caked on sludge were removed from my eyes, I soon realized I was laying on the futon with my Private Dancer soundly asleep beside me...I'm so glad the Princess of Darkness is able to get HER beauty sleep!

     I was now so exhausted my eyes were tearing...but after several awake moments, I decided perhaps my eyes were shedding moisture because the SUN  was peeking through the window shade...I was starring boldly at the crack of dawn!  And, for the record, it wasn't pretty.

     After bed ballet to stretch the spastic calves (helps avoid swan dives to the floor first thing in the morning), a swig of Mountain Dew for caffeine jolt, a piece of toast to ward off sleep-deprivation nausea, and a stumble play to the bathroom to tap the bladder, I was ready to navigate my way to the airport and get Ms. Bellingham on her flight to Oklahoma to visit her mamma.  I don't remember the drive to SeaTac International Airport...I can only hope I took my friend with me and she's on a plane somewhere hovering over the Pacific Northwest skies!

     I DO remember the drive BACK from the airport, however.  Traffic was stacked up like cord wood on the freakway...stop and go, stop and go.  A normal 20 minute drive took nearly 50.  I was day dreaming of the nap I could take before getting ready to go to work again today...mind you, this was ONLY 8:30am and I felt like I had seen enough of Dawn's arse for one lifetime.

     Now that I'm finally home and in the comfort of my Bat Cave, I can't seem to fall asleep.  I'm sure the utter exhaustion will hit me today at the most inopportune time...I'm sure I will be cursing Dawn's crack with mumbled speech later in the day...I'll blame it on MS at work.  And just so you know, Meha is once again soundly sleeping beside me...what I'd give today to have the life of a cat...and to never see the crack of dawn again...


crovira2 said...

I feel for you. :-)

Many's the time I've pulled an "all nighter," but that was at work.

In my youth I used to work for someone "who wasn't into time, man" so that Wednesdays would stretch into Thursdays and Fridays would never friggin' end. I learned a lot from working with him, mostly how NOT to treat my employees or staff or co-workers or team members.


Yes, females CAN have pissing contests. :-) They're even messier than guys who write their names in the snow.

Ever seen them show pictures of their kids?

Or remember "Queen for a Day?"

"Well I have cancer, of course, and they're threatening to cut the power to little Johnny's iron lung cause my husband lost his job working at the mill/mine, hasn't worked in three years and hasn't gotten a pay check in three and a half." :-)

And you think YOU have problems. :-)


By the way, I have a podcast for MSers , by an MSer (me :-) at


Why not check it out and send me some feedback?

Charles *at* MSBPodcast.com

billibotton said...


I'll never look at Dawn the same way again! that b#tch...
LOL, j/k...Love the morning...my ONLY sin.
Oh...that a a cup o' joe, too....Get some rest ~ bb

PS - add Johny Cash (American iv - The Man Comes Around) and Bob Dylan (Modern Times) to my 'list', as of today, courtesy of my friend J and her ever mindful endeavor to make sure I have enough music to listen to...I'll report on these later (the coveted BB's Rating)

baitulos said...

CROVIRA2:  LOL  Thanks for the lesson in "pissing contests"...who knew?  Well, I guess YOU did, that's who!

I swear as soon as things slow down to something more the speed of light in my life, I will get back over to your podcast and figure out how to listen to it!

Take care,


baitulos said...

BILLIBOTTON:  I find it odd how real, life stories are sometimes hilarious, but my attempt at jokes bomb!  Guess it's good I can still laugh at the insanity of my life...

I've got Willie Nelson and Alice Cooper in MY collection...just thought you should know.  LOL


pjorpeej said...

Y'know, as a "parent" it's almost your duty to kick fuzzy butt now and again.  Just be sure she's actually in punting range or you'll break a toe.  They move really fast!  lol

Hope you finally got some sleep

mdmhvonpa said...

<i>That's right...I live in the shadow of Starbucks and I'm not a coffee drinker.</i>

<B><font size+6>AUSLANDER!!!!</font></B>

mdmhvonpa said...

Okay, that last comment would have been a hoot if the damn html tags had translated.  Harumph!

baitulos said...

PEEJ:  "Fuzzy Butt"???  Whoa...for a minute there, I thought you might be talking about a past relationship I once had!!!  But I like the new name...


baitulos said...

MDMHMONPA:  Wait a minute, Mister!  I thought YOU were a computer geek who could "translate" anything (I did try to cut and paste it into the body of the post as an html...still didn't work...friggin' AOHELL).  Much like I'm sure your mother felt many "ah" time, I am disappointed...near depression even...that your efforts did not pay off...I'm certain it would have been grand!!!


sonyasuzanne said...

You crack me up.....I'm sitting here feeling sorry for you and laughing at your sense of humor at the same time.  How can that be?

Ahh...the multi-talented, non-coffee drinker!  At least I know you have the 'pot' in case I do come to visit.  I can't be without coffee!  =)

Rest well!

baitulos said...

SUZY:  Was that pun intended???? "You CRACK me up?"... you sly dog, you!!!