Having grown weary and short on time, I have decided the AOL-ers will just have to click on Brain-Cheese at Blogger to read the most recent post! Besides, the post titled: Happy(?) April Fool's Day...I Think?... has an Easter Egg embedded in it at the end of the post. I simply cannot disappoint those on Blogger by double posting a treasured Easter Egg here on AOL now, can I? LOL
Hit this link, and you should be directed right over to Brain-Cheese on Blogger: http://brain-cheese.blogspot.com/
It happened so quickly...we were demonstrating a self-defense technique to the class and I was on the floor. "T", my partner in training crime, was holding the kick bag and pretending to be my attacker...I was "pretending" to be a victim on the ground, about to be assaulted with a knife. We had done this maneuver before together...we were the "trainers", not the trainees after all...skilled and aware of the safety issues of the class.
I gave a solid blow to her knee in the direction of the kick bag (with my allegedly weak leg) and that's when it happened. My foot slipped up under the kick bag and connected with "T's" knee, nearly buckling the leg.
There wasn't any swelling initially..."T" remained a trooper and returned later in the day to instruct ANOTHER 4 hour session with our coworkers...but the "knee" was very sore. I hung my head, feeling like an idiot who had just sternly instructed my coworkers (the trainees) on the issues of SAFETY while in the course, the need for careful attention to detail, and to NOT injure one another.
"T" called me today while I was in a 9 hour Union meeting. There's a crack in her bone...not fractured through, but cracked. She can't walk on the leg and the doctor has instructed her to stay off of it to give it time to "heal".
She tells me, "Well, that technique really works cuz this is proof. I'm supposed to stay off my leg and it should heal just fine."
Unfortunately, while she's going home to heal, I feel like a heel...
Peggy used to say that...my mother, that is. "No rest for the wicked". To this day, I have no idea what exactly that saying meant coming from her! LOL
All I know is I must have racked up some "wicked" points in the past few months because I've had no REST at all these last few weeks...my job has been extremely fast-paced and relentless lately and I am nearly "too pooped to pop" (another "Pegism"...she had some good ones, didn't she?!?).
Tomorrow morning, I return to work at the crack of dawn (7:30AM) to present two, 4 hour training sessions ON MY DAY OFF, I might add. I will literally be at work from 7:30 in the morning to 11:00PM at night...you may now make wagers on exactly how "wicked" I have been recently...LOL.
I have become so tired recently, I find myself waking up each morning and saying the MS Prayer...you know the one..."Dear God, please don't give me a relapse of my multiple sclerosis today. And if you must, please let it kill me."
I very much doubt between now and Saturday I will find the time to post anything on either BrainCheese sites (you AOL-ers REALLY need to get on board and switch to the dark side of BrainCheese at Blogspot: http://www.brain-cheese.blogspot.com/ )...I also have an all day meeting to attend starting at 9:00AM on Friday. As I have told Corrine via a private email, "I imagine I will be ass-spanking insane by the time this month is over"!!! Well, at least I work in the business of "insane", so it IS familiar territory...
So, I'm off to go about my "wicked" ways...I have some typing and an outline to get completed before dawn shows her gnarly face in the morning. I imagine by 11:00PM tomorrow I will feel as if I have been "rode hard, and put up wet". Someone should really thank my mother for these God-awful sayings...anybody have a Ouija Board handy so we can call her??...LOL...
If for some strange reason, you are still lurking over here at AOL to read BrainCheese, you ARE missing Easter Egg #2 at BrainCheese on Blogspot...and believe me ladies (and I apologize now, gentlemen!), EE #2 is a keeper!
Head over there now at http://brain-cheese.blogspot.com/
It's official...Anna Nicole Smith died from an accidental, polydrug overdose. I NEVER would have guessed that in a million years.
**THUD**
For the love of God, I am sick of hearing about this poor woman's life! I would be curious to know how many thousands of dollars it has taken to determine that she DIED FROM A PRESCRIPTIVE DRUG OVERDOSE. If only "they" would have called ME, I could have saved people a hella load of money on that final report...and I am neither a pathologist nor a rocket scientist. LOL
It amazes me the stories that "entertain" us (focusing mostly on American culture now) these days...dramatic, bizarre, freak-show-type tales of other people's lives. I guess this is why reality TV is sooo popular in our culture, too. Our OWN lives have become so mundane and boring, we must rely on the tragedies of others (and I'm sorry, but every contestant on any reality TV show is a "tragedy"!) to entertain us or feel better about ourselves in some sick sort of way.
For instance, we now have TV shows about midgets, obese people trying to lose weight for money, celebrities trying to lose weight for money, kids singing with the dream to become an "American Idol" but usually ending up humiliated on national television, stupid women trying to win the "love" of a bachelor for cash, and the list goes on and on.
Let's face it folks...we are ALL fat, stupid, ugly, untalented, graceless, irritating slobs to some degree if that's what we choose to see in other people around us. We will never be any more than what we choose to believe is REALITY about our neighbor.
Maybe that's why so many of "us" are killing ourselves these days from "accidental drug overdoses"...just a thought...
Yeah, I know...I threatened you "peeps" with a move of BRAINCHEESE over to Blogspot.com...and I AM in the process of trying to transfer every last, freakin' piece of rambling prose over to that "other" site! I imagine this move will take another six months at the rate I'm going...
Anybody else sick of those Verizon commercials?!? I can't wait until that commercial guy who walks around in those silly things really DOES start to have hearing problems...and not just because of his cell phone connection! But, I rant for not...
Actually, the title of this post is to elicit feedback from all of you loyal CHEESE readers (that would be all two of you) regarding hearing problems and Multiple Sclerosis. Generally speaking (and posing an extremely simplified version of a complex question), do YOU have any difficulties with your hearing because of your MS?
My personal quest to unravel this mystery stems from my own curiosity...that, and a vague response from Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named regarding this issue! It began as follows:
About two weeks ago (maybe more, maybe less...I'm not much for attention to details when it comes to symptoms and time LOL), I started noticing these brief periods of "buzzing" in my left ear. I have frequently had "issues" with my left ear since childhood (i.e., multiple ear infections, some hearing loss, occasional pain, etc.), so my first notice of this occurring was more of a "Hey...that's odd" type of thought. Not wanting to be an alarmist, I'd just sort of "note" it, and carry on.
Then the buzzing episodes began occurring almost daily, very briefly, no pain, and no real reason to think I wasn't just experiencing some bizarre allergy or head cold development. Now, I am experiencing this buzzing several times a day. It's not exactly tinnitis (ringing in the ears), but literally more like a white noise, buzzing sound that seems to mute my hearing slightly. It is as if the sounds around me are having to travel under water before I hear them. (I know, I know...now I really AM starting to "sound" like a lunatic!) It's truly no more than an annoyance and the episodes only last for a few seconds to minutes...but, it IS bugging me!
I emailed Dr. SWWNBN a question about MS and hearing problems and she responded, "potentially" MS could cause this and that I needed to see an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. I not-so-gently reminded her I just SAW an ENT that SHE sent me to in January and my ears checked out just fine!
So, I've now decided to pose this question to the REAL experts...all y'all who read my blathering crap and have MS! Have YOU had any trouble with your hearing caused by MS and/or experienced a similar symptom? I KNOW more than two of you with MS read this cornucopia of crap, so please throw me a friggin' bone here and leave a comment...I'd love to HEAR (yuck yuck) from you!...
My mother used to refer to the "other half" a lot...her "other half" (my father) and "THE other half", meaning people with money. I'm speaking of neither of those "other half-s" in this post. I'm talking about the unusual breed of "DAY PEOPLE"...the other half.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I am being punished (I'm still searching for the culprit responsible LOL) by having to work a string of daytime shifts at my job. I refer to it as "punishment" because I am just not a daytime/morning person...never have been, doubt I ever will be.
My best hours of functioning on the 24 hour clock are generally anytime between 12PM and 12AM. I can't even claim to be fully alert and oriented until around 10:00AM! LOL And my entire work life, I have somehow managed to get (and keep) jobs that afforded me this afternoon scheduling. It's also a much more convenient work schedule for someone who suffers from chronic bouts of insomnia...it just works for me.
The past two mornings, I have had the extremely unpleasant and distasteful horror of waking to the loud, bleeping of an alarm clock...I hate alarm clocks. But I hate being late for work even more, so I have had to rely on this disgusting technology to insure my arrival at my place of employment "on time". Rarely do I ever have to set an alarm clock when I'm working with MY "other half"...the afternoon and evening people who carry on the same tasks as the morning folks, but just later in the day. And I will be blessed with these "day folks" presence for at least 3 more mornings in a row...I'm nearly SICK with "delight" over the prospect of an alarm for three more days. LOL
I've noticed several differences between "the other half" and my crew of derelict, evening worker bees. First of all, day people are grumpy...and I really can't blame them! Who in their right mind would be "cheerful" having to show up day after day, after being awakened by an alarm, throw down a quart of coffee just to act civilized, and THEN try to be pleasant? I certainly wouldn't be.
The "other half" also seem to become much more involved in the politics of the job...they spend several minutes to many hours a day discussing and cussing with administrative figures about this and that. We evening people have the wonderful pleasure of avoiding most contact with the "suits" (what we refer to as our administration group)...consequently, we seem to get more of the actual WORK done during our time at the office.
The "other half" contends with miserable morning traffic, but they also have 100 bus routes to choose when coming and leaving work. When I drive my three miles to work around 2:00PM in the afternoon, my biggest "jam" is generally found when a school bus decides to unload a group of kids on their way home at the end of the day (yes, school does let out quite early here in Seattle!). But I have very limited bus choices, especially when returning home at midnight...unless I want to stand on the corner downtown with a crowd of drunks and deviants.
The "other half" gets all of the good parking. I suppose they SHOULD since they get to work dayum near in the dark! But, then again, I ALWAYS leave in the dark, too, so...LOL
The "other half" almost always gets to leave work on time...and I've discovered that's because THIS "other half" (again, my evening peeps!) comes in dutifully to RELIEVE them...every day...day after day...like clock work. I find it somehow comforting to know someone ELSE will be coming in to clean up or finish whatever mess I have started or created. This must be a luxury to the "other half"...LOL
The "other half" always seems to have time and takes time for lunch...it's a union rule I guess. LOL When working anytime before 2:00PM, it is sanctioned that a sit down meal MUST occur. MY "other half" is lucky if we get to cram down a cold beverage and a bag of chips while running in between cases some evenings. Sitting down to eat has seemed odd to my digestive system these past two days. LOL
I guess if it weren't for the TIMING of working the day hours, I could grow to ENJOY the shift's many perks. If only I could somehow convince Congress to completely revamp our commerce system...but hey, there's always hope! They did sneak in that crappy Day Light Saving time change earlier this year by government vote...LOL...
Mkay...somebody pu-leeze explain to me all of this "American Idol" hype! I simply don't get it...
Teenaged KIDS go on national television to be judged by the American public whether or not they meet the "high" standards of the American people to be considered an American Idol...the extremely intelligent American public TEXT MESSAGES or CALLS in their vote and only one of these young lost souls gets crowned "THE" American Idol.
I'm sorry to have to inform you of this, but I'm pretty sure most of those votes are coming from a trailer park located somewhere in an extremely remote part of the country...where huge, flat-screened TVs are more important than feeding the children...just as long as the 3x4 screen fits nicely on the single wide, tin wall and it doesn't cause the trailer to tilt TOO much to one side!
Oh...and if YOU happen to be a fan of this show, OF COURSE I am not talking about YOU (unless you ARE living in the double-wide, missing several teeth, and truly believe seeing young kids humiliated on national TV is a "hoot").
As they say in the "biz", that's entertainment...
I also had the pleasure (or discomfort...it's a matter of perspective) of a visit to Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named today. She looked at me rather puzzled as to why I was in her office...I considered the odds of getting her to change my diagnosis from Multiple Sclerosis to...oh, I don't know...maybe a benign brain tumor, but then her memory snapped back into place (it really should worry me that my neurologist has to ASK me why I am in her office!). It was my first Novantrone infusion follow up...she remembered after all.
I seemed to have passed my neuro exam without much cheating on my part...I DO study for these events...always trying to master new ways of keeping my EDSS score (Expanded Disability Status Scale) on the low side! LOL In my dealings with Dr. SWWNBN, I find it is best to "control" the amount of information/data I provide for her...lest she suggest bright ideas I have no intention of carrying out...for example STEROIDS or NEW MEDICATIONS!
I believe after our first year of working together, Dr. SWWNBN has learned she must suggest things to me in a manner which, I then in turn, believe her suggestion was MY idea. She told me today she "knew better than to suggest Solumedrol" for my current complaints/concerns/annoyances. I strongly agreed. After my last go round with the potent steroid, I have taken a vow of "steroid celibacy"...refusing to consent to the drug unless under drastic circumstance...such as blindness, total paralysis, or any near death experiences! LOL AND, my current set of complaints simply do not rate high enough on my discomfort scale at this time to warrant consideration of a "drastic circumstance".
I have found myself once again settling into that horrible place of fatigue. Having had a recent burst of energy following my Novantrone dose, I was reminded what my energy level USED to be...and, I must say, I rather miss my more "peppy" side. Dr. SWWNBN and I bantered over the idea of taking Amantidine or Provigil for my fatigue. I reminded her I still have a full bottle of 100 Amantidine (which I never took after filling the script!) from my previous neurologist and I simply wasn't "keen" on the idea of more medication. She skillfully (and I now believe somewhat manipulatively, too) argued the benefit of the drug versus side effects, placed me in her neurologist hypnotic trance, and I walked out agreeing to TRY the dayum drug for at least a week! Fortunately, the effects of her mesmerizing spell have worn off throughout the day, and I am once again leaning toward NOT adding another pill to my mix...especially right now during one of the busiest times in work life. We'll see...(But I doubt it...Mum's the word!)
So, I am off to bed soon (which translates into "sometime in the next 6-10 hours") to try to get some rest with the help of my friends, Xanax and Klonopin...I have not been sleeping well at all, and this only adds to my already fatigued feeling. I have a very busy and extremely LONG work week ahead of me. (And by the way, if I work MORE than 7 days in a row, can this really be called a "work week"? Feedback please...LOL)
For those of you that I have been remiss in leaving comments on YOUR blogs, please know you are definitely being "watched" by me (AKA, I am reading your posts)...I don't know if this should comfort or alarm you...LOL...
Who sang that song anyway? The title of this post, that is? I can only assume it was some strong-willed person with an investment to keep "something" out...LOL I have adopted that song as my theme for this week...that's right...I hear YOU (MS) knocking, but you can't come in!
It started as just a few pebbles being thrown at my windows...MS tossed me a bit of fatigue and some calf stiffness/spasticity a week or so ago. When I didn't throw open my shades and peek out at it, MS decided to become a bit more "persistent" in gaining my attention...this past week my dear friend upped the anti on the fatigue in an exhausting attempt to gain notice. But still, I paid it no mind.
Over this past weekend, my lifetime buddy has been screaming that famous quote from the movie "Fatal Attraction"...you know the one...where the lovely (but a bit deranged) Glenn Close yells at Michael Douglas, "I will NOT be ignored!" MS began raising a bit more ruckus outside my door...I plugged my ears and did the ol' "La la la la" thing. LOL
By Sunday evening, there came sounds of frantic thunder pounding by my MS friend...shock waves of electricity bolting down my arms if I moved my head/neck in a certain way (what I can only imagine is L'Hermitte's Sign)...actually, I find this phenomenon kind of "cool" in a sick and twisted sort of way!
And finally today, the grand finale'...pain in my left arm radiating into my hand.
"OK, OK!", I'm yelling. "I HEAR you. But I'm not letting you in. Just slip a note under the door and I'll get back to you."
**Note to self: If this little coup works, I'll try this tactic on door to door proselytizers and sales people.**
Oh, the times they are a changin'...maybe...probably...we'll see! LOL
I think I have finally decided to do away with AOHELL...eventually (note the indecision here?!?). We just seem to have grown apart...we like different things. For instance, I prefer to be able to log into my journal and have ALL of the features up and running. AOL prefers to take a hit or miss approach. I like things that are "free"...AOL likes to charge me for free things. I like the freedom of high(er) speed internet...AOL would like me to pay not only them, but ALSO a high speed internet company. I'm hoping if I DO decide on divorce, this can be settled out of court! LOL
I've been spending some time over at www.blogspot.com . I've been playing with setting up a new home for BrainCheese over there...I must say, it is quite tedious to try and transfer well over 300 posts! I only started BrainCheese here on AOL last year in at the end of March, and I am not even HALF WAY through transferring April 2006!
But, if you'd like to check out the potential new home for BrainCheese, here's the addy: http://brain-cheese.blogspot.com/ . What I plan to do for the time being is double post...that's right...you heard me...post my ranting crap in TWO places simultaneously!!! I won't transfer "over there" completely until I've finished cut and pasting the entire year of 2006...which, at the rate I'm going, could be sometime at the end of 2007.
I have also heard horror stories of folks trying to sever their ties with AOL and running into a nightmare-ish loop of calls between India and Quebec...as we all know, AOL IS no longer "America On Line"...it's more like IOL...International On Line.
As always, I'll keep all y'all posted (now in TWO places!) of where and when I finally land...but if I have my say in the matter, it just won't continue to be here.
"Lack of sleep...lack of physical rest...too much stress/anxiety...lack of a proper diet...very long hours at work...lack of physical exercise because of time schedule...monthly hormonal fluctuation..."
The above paragraph just came to me in a vision (or via psychotic break, perhaps!) as I attempted to hobble my way from my bed to the bathroom, realizing I am now into FORCING myself to make it to work another day. This is not good. The effects of my "heathen" ways these past few weeks are no longer something I can ignore.
The MS gods have spoken to me in my vision...and, I think they're pissed!
I arrived at my cubicle/desk at work yesterday, nervous and feeling ill at ease, ill-prepared, and just plain "ill" hours before the first presentation of the "dog and pony show" Ms. "T" and I were presenting to the first round of our peers/critics. On my desk, there was a quaint, little basket of flowers with a note. The "note" was written by our Big Boss Lady, thanking us for the many hours of preparation we had put into this daunting task we were about to "kick off"...a series of 7, four hour, classes/instruction for our department.
It is truly amazing how a little basket of flowers and a thank you note of acknowledgement can make weeks of anxiety and struggle seem all worthwhile...it doesn't take much to make me happy. But then again, I'm rather "simple" like that...
I wonder how many unsuspecting perps will "google" the word PORN today and get a link to this post! LMAO What a surprise they will be in for...
Well, it IS true...I did have a "sex dream" this morning...BUT...I won't bore you with THOSE details! Instead, I'll bore you with my personal interpretation of what the dream meant to me (porn hunters may redirect now back to their original search!).
What little I know about dream interpretation, I learned in psychology 101 classes and most of it was based on the teaching of Dr. Freud. Frankly, I believe most of the time, Freud fanned the female fire (say THAT 10 times fast!) and he had many hang ups about his own mother...thus the majority of his theories. I also believe much of Freud's work was based on his OWN inadequacies, desires, and dysfunctions, which he primarily projected via female archetypes and energy!!! How's THAT for a line of psychobabble?!?
OK, so back to the "sex dream"...without going into gory details (because let's face it...the imagery or even the THOUGHT of moi in a sexual encounter might cause projectile vomiting for some), my "sex dream" involved several aspects of being exposed, humiliated, and included a multitude of people (which I'm STILL trying to figure out how an old high school class mate, who I have not thought about or remembered in years, weaseled their way into my unconscious psyche!!).
DOH! I don't think I need to pay an expert to figure this one out for me...today, Tuesday, is the FIRST of a series of presentations my coworker, "T", and I are doing for our department at work. We're both very nervous (yes, I WILL speak for her also!)...the material is new to both of us, in the sense neither one of us has taught this particular course before (although I used to be an instructor in two similar courses). We have studied and prepared to the best of our ability, but...it's STILL new material.
Add on top of the "new material pile" the notionI have not done any type of public speaking since 2003, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The reason is, frankly, because the opportunity has just never arose in the past 4 years...but, I'm also quite nervous about my word finding difficulty, which has certainly worsened during my diagnostic tenure. Add on a pinch of stress (pinch?!) about "performing" in front of my colleagues, and I am fairly CERTAIN not only will the CAT be holding my tongue hostage, but MS may make a mockery out of my speech as well! I have always taken great pride in my communication abilities and my manner of teaching. Therefore, my "performance may be less than adequate, in front of a multitude of people, and become embarrassing"...
Thank Gawd I was able to save THAT $150.00 and interpret my OWN sex dream...LOL
Today, I received my quarterly (at least I think it's on that schedule?!?) edition of "MS Connection"...my local MS Chapter's publication. I always peruse these publications to try to stay abreast (you'll find out later in this post why the use of this word is a bit ironic here!) of local topics and events. And I always read the stories submitted by people living with MS...AND, these stories always bring tears to my eyes!
It's not that I feel sorry for these folks...good grief, the stories are geared to "inspire" and be "uplifting"! Perhaps it is that I feel sorry for MYSELF when I read them...I'm just not sure. What I do know is this: The power of the human spirit is a force unlike any other I have ever known in its ability to survive, change, grow, and withstand adversity. This simple fact is what reaches out from the pages of these stories and touches my heart so.
My own "spirit" is being toyed with today in a peculiar manner as the irony of some of my words meant to be humorous are being shoved in my face! I got "the call" today regarding the results of my mammogram last week...it seems my poking fun at the Breast Cancer Awareness marketing campaign has caused the Universe to want to poke me back...I only hope the "big U's" poke will contain some laughs as well!
It appears my average-sized, never fed children, frontal appendages may have a "problem"...or, they may not! I just LOVE this kind of indecisive news...my preliminary mammo shows diffuse asymmetrical quite possibly fibroid "developments". That's the polite way they tell you something's growing in your jugs that looks "suspicious"...but the Breast Testers have to first compare my mammo from two years ago to my CURRENT one...then they will decide what if anything needs to be done next.
My first reaction to this news was the thought I MIGHT finally have a disease who's marketing colors will match my personal color chart! My second reaction was, "What?!?" And my third (and the final one I'm settling with) reaction was based in scientific fact/knowledge that MANY women have preliminary mammograms that look "suspicious"...this is NOT like the news when I was told (and shown because I didn't believe the neurologist!) I had multiple lesions in my brain and one in my spine! I am comforted by the medical knowledge a high percentage of women walk around with "developments", AKA fibroids, which are not cancerous.
Meanwhile, I continue to feel a bit "verklempt"...so in the words of Linda Richmond (character played by Mike Myers of Saturday Night Live YEARS ago), "Talk amongst yourselves..."
That blog title is something my mother used to say I "allegedly" said when I was but a wee lass! But it is true...I AM so tired my hair hurts tonight. LOL
I have managed to spend most of my weekend either working on a WORK project or taking care of business around the hut...I am no longer in fear I might be crushed under a pile of toppling dishes that were awaiting a good scrubbing next to the sink and my laundry is (for the most part) done. I am blaming MS on my lack of reasoning and impulse control for agreeing to take on this "special" work assignment last year that has kept me consumed most of the weekend. Oh, yes...and I AM blaming you too, "T"!
I spent the better part of the afternoon today downtown at the "bat cave" where my main office of employment is (don't worry...young "T" was there, too), trying to organize some form or sense out of the pages of information we are about to present on Tuesday to the first group of our colleagues. I've decided the ONLY way we might come out of this project alive is to bake some cookies...it's a nice distraction while trying to slink out the door after presenting a mandatory training! At least if their mouths are full, they'll be less likely to spew venom at us...but there IS always the possibility of vegetable throwing (**making note to self to do a security check on all bags brought into the conference room**).
Oh yeah...and WHO IN THE H-E-double-L TOOTHPICKS decided THIS week was an excellent time to start daylight savings all over again?!? I certainly wasn't consulted, were you?? Just as I thought...maybe it was the MS Society since neither you nor I were consulted (Ooo...cheap jab there!).
I am sitting here at the puter utterly exhausted thinking, "But it's REALLY only 8:00PM right now. Why am I so dayumed tired?" It's a little game I play with myself every time thefeds roll the clocks forward or backward...the, "but it's really only" time game. I am giving serious consideration to moving to Arizona where this silly game is NOT played...it's just always the same time there...spring or fall...steady time...if it weren't for the hellish heat in AZ, I'd already have my bags packed!
Well, I must go now and comfort my aching hair...the poor, little follicles have been clinging for dear life as it is post Novantrone! Maybe laying them gently down on my pillow will soothe their tired strands...LOL...
I have just immersed myself in a multitude of national, local, and city crime statistics...what a dayumed depressing topic is THAT?!?
Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this intensive research if it didn't relate directly to this "little" work project my best of buds, "T", and I are presenting in the next 5 weeks! I am simply shocked by the massive amount of violence REPORTED in our country...and the statistics do not reveal those crimes left unreported (such as a large percentage of domestic violence cases). And here's the real kicker of it all...did you know Mental Health Workers Rank in the top five highest percents of workers assaulted on the job??? That's right...we fall just under police officers, bartenders, and cab drivers.
I'll be spending my leisurely Sunday morning checking the "Help Wanted" ads...right after I read the comics...LOL
I shouldn't really ask anyone to do something that I am not willing to do myself...so...here's MY letter back to Ms. Annie Hammel of the NMSS (and if you've just joined this current broadcast of "BrainCheese Takes On MS", please read a few of the more recent postings this week to catch up!):
Dear Ms. Hammel,
Well slap my a$$ and call me paranoid! I certainly have been called much worse...
A few days ago, I wrote about the National MS Society contacting me via BRAINCHEESE with a request to add their redirect logo to my blog, sending people to the NMSS website. As you may recall, I did as I was asked (note the somewhat looming logo at the bottom left hand side of the "All about me" section) and I ALSO sent a letter back to the anonymous marketer who sent ME the email in the first place. I asked in my first paragraph exactly HOW the NMSS found my email and my blog...after all, my personal email address is NOT the BrainCheeseMS@aol.com addy...one could only find this email address directly on my blog.
Well, today I received an email back from a DIFFERENT source at the NMSS, which I will post here. There was nothing in the email requesting that I keep it confidential and/or not share it with the entire world...so, I am! Here it is with my editorial comments interjected in pink...because PINK is at least a "purdy" color in my humble opinion (hint hint):
Once again, my life has taken on a fiendish, swirling pace and I am finding myself yelling out for Toto! As I wrote yesterday, I am also begrudgingly beginning to feel a strange return of probable MS symptoms (you know what "they" say...too much of a good thing?!?) just as my life is kicking up the pace a few notches. I found myself tonight (at work) having a near melt down because I couldn't locate an envelope that was pre-stamped to mail a subpoena...this is NOT my usual response to inconveniences!
I have been putting in some long hours at work and this pace will only intensify next week through the second week of April. Myself and another coworker have quite ignorantly agreed to take on a major training project at my employment, which will require many "extra" hours of being at work for our dog and pony show (what WERE we thinking, T???). Add to that several meetings, doctor's appointments, and spring time get togethers with some friends, and I may have created the perfect storm! Oh, and I shouldn't leave out my recent bout of insomnia either...LOL
I figure if I can manage to live through the next 6 weeks with only minor cuts and bruises to my body and psyche, I will have made a major accomplishment...now if I can just avoid those flying monkeys and any falling houses, I should be able to follow my yellow brick road to some relief! After all, I already LIVE in the Emerald City...
Well, it seems it wasn't enough to simply have an "external" MS Awareness Week...my own personal MS pal appears to be trying to pay me another visit and I'm trying to figure out how to just NOT answer its knock on my door!
I haven't been writing much about my own MS these past few weeks because...well, frankly...I've been feeling pretty dayumed good! You know the old saying? Out of sight, out of mind...
Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named has been tooting her own horn, taking full credit for what has been a remarkable recovery over the past 3 weeks. She believes this rapid turn around of events has been solely because of the Novantrone...and, of course, her brilliance! (And I really can't argue with EITHER reasoning!) I, on the other hand, remain skeptical and believe most likely my "flight into wellness" has had something to do with a combination of global warming, hormonal shifts, incantations, and planetary alignments. LOL
I have enjoyed an absolutely wonderful couple of weeks with only very minor MS symptoms...I suppose to some a numb left side of the face, vertigo if looking up, and a tightness around the waist would not be "minor", but to me those symptoms are no more than a gnat's bite on the arse! Considering how incredibly miserable I have felt for nearly a year up until 3 weeks ago, those "base" symptoms are just a slight annoyance. And, I have been walking without any assistance and feeling a "bounce" in my step again...which I think has actually FRIGHTENED several people in my life recently! LOL
Unfortunately, the past several nights I have been plagued with insomnia (which is NOT an unusual occurrence for me). I have also been working very long and hard hours at my job (just the nature of my schedule right now). I began to notice a tightening in my calves again two days ago, but as is typical for me, made the decision to ignore it and "push" a bit harder. Last night, I could barely get my lower extremities to uncurl from under my chair after sitting for several minutes. And this morning, I once again "forgot" my legs might be stiff when I tried to get out of bed, and did my all too familiar World Wrestling Federation slam to the wall/floor! It is fortunate I am never injured from these "events" (minus a bruise here or there) AND extreme good luck I am almost always entertained by this...one should ALWAYS laugh heartily to release those endorphins at times like these...it's quicker pain relief than a shot of morphine. LOL
So...the ol' MS is trying to weasel its way into my "awareness" again and I am very displeased by the distraction...not angry or scared as would have been my typical response this past year...just watchful. I've had such a fabulous past 3 weeks, it will take far more than a set of "log legs" to steal my joy! I'm hoping if I can FORCE myself into more restful slumber (this usually requires a large hammer or medications) in the next few days, I may be able to ward off this MS visit...I do think when I am very tired, I am just more vulnerable to attack. MS is kind of like unwanted relatives who decide the "best" time to come visit you is after a post surgical procedure in the hospital...when you CAN'T get away from them!
For now, I'll just keep an eye on my little friend and try to do the things I know to do that might deter it (MS) from staying. Gawd knows, if this visit were based on the condition of the hut right now (as I said, I've been a bit busy and not paying much attention to my home...give me a break people!), no "visitor" in their right mind would stick around for very long for fear of contracting a "health hazard illness"...LOL...
I kicked off the beginning of my MS Awareness Week by rubbing elbows (or...er...other appendages) with none other than the BREAST CANCER AWARENESS folks! That's right...today was my brief brush with medical compliance by having my every-few-years-or-so mammogram...the pink crush...the pancake test.
My primary care practitioner knows better than to suggest I do ANYTHING via a strict schedule...and it has been a couple of years since I had the boob X-ray, so I complied with her request to "git 'er done" and I went today before work.
Now, for you few men who read CHEESE, this topic may not interest you all that much...unless, of course, you could imagine having your testicles wedged tightly between two 100 pound rocks and told to "stand very still". LOL But, I bring this topic up because it DOES have something to do with MS Awareness Week...sort of.
I will spare you the details of the mammogram test...if you're a woman past age 40, you've probably already experienced this and it's just best left unspoken...it CAN cause PTSD for some! But today, the beginning of MS Awareness Week, I took special notice of the differences between my neurologists office and these all-too-happy-and-bubbly Breast Testers.
First of all, the mammogram "lounge" (and they DO call it that) has all of the most recent and updated magazines in it...my neurologists office is lucky to have anything dated after 2004. All of the staff amongst the Breast Testers smile...it's rather eerie...kind of like being dropped onto Fantasy Island and a bit surreal. They're all extremely polite, offering beverages, while peaceful musack flows in the background. My neurologist is usually flitting around her office like a gnat in a wind tunnel and on occasion, there can be heard groans of discomfort from exam rooms. The Breast Testers cringe at the slightest thought of causing you discomfort (while they are pulling and stretching your chest appendages and having you contort in unnatural positions)...my neurologist smirks in disgust at my lack of tolerance to most pains.
Today, while I was being contorted in an unholy position and being told to hold my breath (like I could possibly breathe anyway?!?), I asked my personal Breast Tester if she was aware it was MS Awareness Week? She looked at me rather puzzled (I'm sure wondering how that question could possibly relate to my aged mammaries) and said, "No. Really? A full week?", as if MS was not deserving of having an entire week dedicated to its "awareness".
I casually replied, "Yes, ma'am. We only get one week in March because the Breast Cancer Awareness people commandeered the entire month of October!"
I went on mumbling about how the BCA people took all the good colors for their campaigns and how I was jealous of their marketing strategies and fund raisers and why didn't "we", us poor and miserable MSers, get more recognition?
This is when my Breast Tester obviously was moved out of her comfort zone...her smile left her face and she seemed to be pondering my comments and question. Finally she spoke...slowly and with some hesitation...but attempting to provide a serious response to my concerns (because that's what Breast Testers do...take their jobs very seriously!).
The following response came out of my Breast Tester's mouth...I kid you not. She looked at me seriously and said, "Well, I suppose that's because everybody has breasts and not everyone has MS."
**Thud**
I received this email today from "someone" at the National MS Society via BrainCheeseMS@aol.com :
-----Original Message-----
From: Olivia.Lindly@nmss.org
To: BrainCheeseMS@aol.com
Sent: Sun, 4 Mar 2007 11:53 AM
Subject: MS Awareness Week
