Friday, January 19, 2007

Will She Notice I'm Older And Fatter?...

     Last week, I received a phone call from a wonderful, "old" friend who I haven't seen in well over 11 years...she is making a brief stop in Seattle from the Midwest this weekend and wanted to get together...of course, I invited her to stay at my home!  I HAVE remained in email contact, the usual cards on the birthdays and holidays, and occasionally a phone call every year or two.  We are certainly not close friends by any standards, but we ARE kindred souls...which can sometimes be an even stronger bond.

     I met Jade while living in Texas (and I've been in Seattle almost 11 years!) through a woman's spiritual studies program...she is the founder of RCG and was my advisor and mentor in the program.  But since moving to Seattle, I took a leave of absence from the program, became involved in "life" here, and never continued my studies.

     It's so strange to KNOW someone and yet not really "know" them at all...two very distinct and completely separate things.  Jade is one of those people in my life who's presence I feel even without having much contact at all.  And yet I worry about our upcoming visit...

     I worry I have grown old, fat, and cynical since I last saw her.  I worry she would not recognize me at the airport without a sign.  I worry our lives are so incredibly different it will be hard to find mutual topics of conversation to pass the all too brief time she will be visiting.  I worry my home will not be sparkling clean and inviting (because of my recent energy level) or in some way uncomfortable.  But mostly I worry that feeling of connectedness I have with her will somehow vanish when in her presence because it is somehow an illusion.

     I hope our visit goes well and, for the most part, is just like "old times"...but so much has happened in my life over the past year, five years, and decade.  I hope we will BOTH recognize each other even midst these changes and that sense of "kindred souls" becomes all that matters...even if she does notice I've grown fat and old!

    

2 comments:

pjorpeej said...

Linda?  How do you know that she's not worried about being "old and fat" too?  Stop worrying and just let it happen.  You can't have fun if you're a nervous wreck!  :)

Enjoy the visit!

mdmhvonpa said...

Nothing wrong with updating an old relationship with new experiences.  Tell her you talk to conservative white middle class men and find them to be quite likable fellows! ;P