Things I Have Learned This Week Totally By Accident...

1.  Rubber-tipped canes provide absolutely NO traction support on ice.

2.  It CAN snow twice in one week in Seattle.

3.  When the weather man says, "snow showers", there is no rain involved in the "shower" part at all.

4.  I wondered where all the cat toys had disappeared to...behind the wash machine...now I know.

5.  There are many kinds of Ethiopian foods because there are many tribes of Ethiopians.

6.  Some of my coworkers can't spell worth a darn.

7.  Vertigo happens in the strangest of places and circumstances.

8.  "Tube socks" are an essential wardrobe item when wearing a calf-high plastic brace.

9.  Some people don't care if you hear their story, just as long as you let them talk.

10.  Laughter to the point of nausea isn't necessarily a "good" thing.

11.  My laundry will NOT wash itself...who knew?

12.  Some people take great offense to the idea of wearing dirty underwear.

13.  Just because "they" say it's getting darker later, doesn't really make the day any longer.

14.  The President has no idea how to fix the mess he's created in the Middle East.

15.  Turning my cell phone off before I fall asleep could be a good practice to avoid early morning calls.

16.  Always write down new invention ideas with either a drawing or explanation...that way, when you stumble across cryptic notes, you'll have some idea what the heck you were talking about in the first place.

17.  Dr. SWWNBN can sprint pretty fast when on a mission.

18.  Cat litter on a cold bathroom floor with bare feet just plain sucks.

19.  You CANNOT train a cat to do anything.

20.  Nobody really notices if you don't iron your clothes...or at least they don't tell you.

21.  Not being able to drive really limits one's already destitute social life.

22.  I HAVE no social life.

23.  Old friends, like old pennies, DO come back to you...even after 10 years.

24.  Trying NOT to laugh during a serious meeting just makes me WANT to laugh harder.

25.  Losing weight will not happen just by thinking about it after eating a twinkie.

26.  Exercising more will not happen if you don't get up and DO it right after eating a twinkie.

27.  Never place your toilet paper on the shelf over your right shoulder if you get severe vertigo while looking over your right shoulder.

28.  There's just not a "good" place to throw up if you're already sitting on the toilet.

29.  Homemade treats attract friends like flies to honey.

30.  When you've got nothing productive to say, making a list of the things you've learned by accident just fills space, but doesn't prove to be very useful.