As I sat today moping in the muck of my MS, feeling sorry for myself, and yea, a tad bit angry, it came to mind that perhaps in this season of Thanksgiving it might me more "productive" to focus on a few items in my life I am grateful for. Believe me, this was/is NOT an easy shift for me right now, as I would prefer to thoroughly drown myself in my self-created muck!
But as I pondered this grand idea of "thankfulness", it became more of an innate reflexive desire to try to turn my lemons into lemonade...or at the very least, my "crap" into fertilizer! To try and move myself from this place of self-made despair and really focus on what is REAL...what is felt and known to be good in my life.
I initially set a goal (and a title for this blog, I might add!) of 20 things I am thankful for...I now know that's a bit of a lofty set up given my propensity toward the negative right now! LOL But I WILL just begin my list and see where it takes me...20 or not.
So, "THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR":
1. Just to get this negative thought out of the way in a twisted sense of gratitude, I am VERY THANKFUL I DO NOT HAVE RECTAL CANCER. There...I said it...now I'll move on.
2. Most importantly, I am grateful to have such wonderful friends like you who take the time to read my ramblings on "Cheese"...even though almost all of you, I have never met, I feel a special bond that crosses space and time and brings me close to those of you who feed my soul...what I call "friend".
3. I am thankful I remain gainfully employed in a profession that, for the most part, I thoroughly enjoy and feel successful at.
4. I am grateful I have enough of everything I could possibly need and almost anything I could ever want...a roof over my head, food in my cupboards, transportation, and all the comforts of "home".
5. I am so blessed to have my local "family" of friends who watch over me, make me laugh, comfort me, care for me, and provide such intimate caring that even my own family of origin would have a hard time matching if they were still alive and/or even nearby.
6. I am thankful to have a wonderful and wise mentor in my life right now who, not only feeds my spiritual nature, but also guides my path and walk beside me...thank you, QuintaE.
7. I am grateful to live in a country where freedoms are still "free" and I do not have to fear daily bombings, or going to bed hungry, or becoming enslaved or persecuted.
8. I am thankful to live in an area of the country where the air remains relatively clean, the scenery is still pristine and beautiful, and the spirit of the Northwest continues to hold it's ancient wisdoms.
9. I am grateful I still have the wit about me to "choose", to "decide", and to "know", and that my mental capacities remain as clear as they can be, in spite of MS.
10. I am thankful I have surrounded myself with what I believe to be the wisest and compassionate healthcare providers available to me and that they continue to honor and respect my wishes and see me as the person I am...not the disease.
11. I am thankful (most of the time!) for this little ball of fur I call my kitten, who delights me when she is good and even when she is bad! She offers me company and perspective in my life and something to remain responsible to.
12. I am grateful to have somehow not only survived my childhood and early adult years, but also incorporated valuable lessons about love, trust, and compassion...the essence of what makes me who I am today.
13. I am thankful I have many skills and continue to be able to share them with those around me...because the purpose of "having" something is found in the "giving" of it.
14. I am blessed to have learned about justice and peace and universal law at an early age...learning I am still incorporating and practicing in an effort to hone in a more precise manner.
15. I am thankful for creative writers who have inspired me over the years and offered me glimpses of understanding and insights outside of my usual world...things I would not otherwise be exposed to without their views and ideas.
16. Did I mention already I'm thankful I don't have rectal cancer????
OK...I made it to 15! That's really not too shabby given my mood today. I feel a bit more loose around the psyche belt gripping my being right now. It's good to try to focus on something other than the negatives...I may however, have to return repeatedly to reading this post MYSELF over the course of the next few days!
What are YOU thankful for? Throw me a bone in the comment section and give me something else to ponder...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL
5 comments:
Hey Linda! Great list! I guess today I'm thankful for the bounty of our table, the love of family and friends, the one armed turkey and also the dog who made it that way ;)
Happy Thanksgiving!! :)
And we are all thankful for you not giving up when thing get rough and you find yourself hip-deep in crap or symptoms. Keep on keeping on ... Where ever you go, there you are. (Buckaroo Banzai).
Happy Thanksgiving. Sometimes it can be difficult to be thankful, but I believe we have to remember what is important. I hope that you are feeling better and are able to enjoy your holiday. You are in my thoughts and prayers today. Please take care of yourself. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to let me know....after all I'm only a hop, skip, and jump away (although that may be easier to say than do some days.......or at least to do without falling over) LOL
Get better soon, okay?
Jaime
PEEJ:
OMG! The story of your one armed-turkey on your blog just made me howl out loud! That bandit has surely earned his little name...thanks for sharing your "thanks" here on Cheese and for remaining an ever-present source of glee and good tidings in my life!
LD
MONDOVAPOVA:
Ain't that just the darned truth, brother? Wherever you go, there you are...But even sometimes, Wherever you aren't, you still can go. Just food for thought...steroidal induced food for thought...speaking of food, perhaps I should feed the steroid demons lurking in my belly again?
OMG...my train of thought has just jumped the tracks!
Happy T-Day to you as well, my friend!
LD
JAIME:
You are always so dear to remember in your thoughts and prayers...I believe it is in the "remembering" of others, we grow and learn even deeper meanings and satisfactions about ourselves. Please know you are ALSO in my thoughts and well-wishes as I know you are struggling, too, with difficult times and disease.
One day, perhaps the mountain pass will open again and we may meet! Until then, take good care and be safe...
LD
Hey girl,
I am thankful that I can talk to you on the phone for a good laugh, a good and healthy cry and share all that is within me....even the crap. I too am thankful I don't have rectal cancer...you know, I could be more prone to it, if anyone could!
I am thankful too for the encouraging thoughts and words of others, left on my blog, that remind me to keep on keeping on. I am thankful for our small community of MS friends that keep me going, knowing I am not alone in this journey of slow deterioration.
And I am thankful for all the gooshy, mushy stuff too, but I won't list them all in your comment section. After all, I can barely type at 6am, let alone think well enough to do my thankful list justice.
Hope all is well...
Suzy, in 60 degree Chicago, where you can get by without a coat right now...scary!
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