Monday, December 18, 2006

A Doctor Who Makes House Calls?...Seriously...

     Just when I thought my life could not POSSIBLY get any more bizarre, I opened my eyes from a deep sleep and was dropped into "today".

     Today began with the sound of yet another very large tree crashing down a half block away and falling on power lines just beyond my home...a school bus had just passed by the area right before the tree fell and I heard the somewhat hysterical voices of females outside chattering...from the sounds of things, it had just missed the bus (prayer sent up to all children, not just the ones riding the bus).

     Closer inspection revealed a "line" was actually laying across my neighbor spotted this immediately and called the already over-stressed power company (there are still several thousand without power in the Puget Sound area from last week's wind storm).  Come to find out, it was just a cable TV line going to the neighbor's house and not a "live" wire.

     But, realizing I COULD lose power at any moment, I scrambled to shower and quickly roast up my home to a whopping 75 degrees "just in case" (power has remained on all day so far, much to my amazement)...the lines are laying almost on the ground and all neighbors involved fear they could snap at any time...not the neighbors snapping, the wires!

     There was a series of phone calls returned about the tree laying across the BACK yard...tree removal companies are back-logged for over a week just trying to get the trees out of HOUSES they have fallen situation pales in comparison...the tree is just precariously balancing on a broken fence on a hillside up against the neighbor's house.  No big deal in the big picture of things.

     Then, there was the email from Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named responding to my rants of late last week regarding her potentially trying to kill me again with (now) IVIg...she wanted to see me in her office today.  Her wonderful assistant emailed me with a time to come in and I responded in kind via email with a plan to get there either by friend or cab, but advised she should rely on cell phone service for any changes as I felt pretty certain I would be losing my electricity at some point today.

     While in my frantic shower, my cell phone DID was Dr. SWWNBN sweet assistant asking if she could change the time of my appointment to later in the day?  Of course, I obliged this request...after all, I WAS rather sneaking my way onto the good doctor's already busy schedule.  She IS a "in high demand" neurologist!

     No sooner had I turned my shower back on to rinse the soap out of my hair, but my cell rang again.  With soap now in my eyes, I fumbled to find the cell and answer was the voice of Dr. SWWNBN...THIS could NOT be a good sign...and, of course, I worried I was now naked and on camera "somewhere".

     I tried to sit myself down on the edge of the tub so as not to fall down from the vertigo and try to have a conversation with Dr. SWWNBN...what could she POSSIBLY want?

DR:  "I'm just going to come to your place rather than you trying to get a ride to my office.  It's easier for me.  Tell me where you live?"

     OK, where do I even BEGIN with this?  There are just sooo many angles of "wrong" here! 

     First, I'm usually the one who "invites" people to come to my home...and I didn't invite her.  Frankly, I didn't "invite" her the day I was hospitalized either...and fortunately, she couldn't FIND my home that day...911 had to track me down...bless their hearts.

     Second, a doctor making a HOUSE CALL?  That crap only happens in very old movies...and I don't recall those movie doctors EVER being a specialist!

     And third...I managed to cancel the Home Health Physical Therapy/Safety inspection of my home she had set up upon discharge from the hospital...I know, I know...I promised her.  So I'm a weasel of my word!  She was out of town at the time and I just thought I'd "get away" with it and no one would be the wiser...particularly NOT Dr. SWWNBN!  I'm still not sure she knows they've never been here...

     I tried my best to talk her out of it...I stuttered, I bargained, I pleaded (very unlike me to stoop THAT low), but she would NOT be deterred.  She hung up the phone on me, saying she'd, "be there around 4:00", and that was that...panic set in...I could only hope, once again, she wouldn't be able to FIND the address.

     Much later in the afternoon, my doorbell rang...I considered not answering it...I REALLY did, but I knew this would only create more problems for me in the future.  Dr. SWWNBN stood proudly on my steps...even DWA (Driving While Asian), she had managed to locate me THIS time!  I somewhat hesitantly and begrudgingly invited her in.

     She asked me several questions about my headache/fever/pain (wondering if I had meningitis...I've HAD meningitis before, so could have easily told her this was not the problem now), had me "walk" for her, did the "follow my finger" test, etc.  It was a real house call.

     Relieved I did not have meningitis, she decided I am having an adverse effect/cholinergic effect from the Meclizine I have been taking for my vertigo.  I am supposed to stop taking the one drug I "think" may have been helping my dizzies...this is a bit concerning for me, but I will do as the good doctor suggests.

     Now, at this juncture, I'm sure most of you are slapping your foreheads and WISHING you had a neurologist that was so friggin' attentive...I'm sure you'd slap ME if you could!  Some of you may drive many, many miles just to SEE your doctors for 15 minutes...most of you couldn't even GET your neurologist on the phone if you tried for two days redialing.

     What may be very difficult to understand about ME is, I am an extremely private person!  I know...this sounds utterly moronic coming from someone who writes a BLOG!!!  But, I am what I am...neurotic and VERY private...oh, yeah...and did I mention the words, "control freak" yet?  Well, I am.

     And I AM very thankful to have such a gifted and talented team of medical professionals working with me...they certainly earn their measly co-pays and insurance stipends.  And, if I were to tell the "honest" truth...I DO believe I may have one of the best neurologists in the nation who looks after me, even somewhat like a mother hen, when I'm too stupid to even know what I need.  I have been wonderfully blessed beyond measure to have crossed paths with her and eternally grateful for all the care she (and the rest of my "team") provides.  BUT, being THAT honest is painful, so strike that paragraph! LOL 

     I don't think I can forgive her for looking in my refrigerator though, to make sure I had food...she might as well have asked to see my underwear drawer!  At this point, she feels more like my proctologist than my neurologist! 

     And considering I can be quite an A$$ at times, the feeling is probably well deserved and appropriate...


mdmhvonpa said...

Some 60-70 years from now, you are going to be the most salty old curmudgeon the world has ever seen.

Hmmm ... underwear.  Did she find those leather thigh-highs? ;D

baitulos said...


Try 6 - 7 MINUTES, versus 60-70 years!!!  It's already here...

OH yes, and "leather thigh-highs"?  Come on now, my would take an entire HERD to cover these Big Momma thighs!  But no, she did NOT find the leathers...LOL


crovira2 said...

You remind me of my wife with her incipient paranoia. :-)

baitulos said...


Well, since you MARRIED her, I'll take that "paranoia" as a compliment! LOL


pjorpeej said...

Well... if I were a betting kinda gal I'd say she knew you'd cancelled the Home PT/Safety Inspection and had decided that the best thing to do would be to do her own....  You WILL do her bidding one way or another!  LOL!!

I fondly remember my Doctor making housecalls when I was a kid.  We had a GP who used to come to our house once or twice a week (my family isn't the healthiest in the world) who we called "Uncle Louie".   The last home visit he made was when I was 12 and I really miss him.  

Anyway... you can't have it both ways Linda.  Either you do what she asks or she comes to your house.  Sounds like you've met your Waterloo in the "stubborn" department.  :)

baitulos said...


And curses to you as well...except for the fact you know me TOO well!  I've gone ahead and nailed the door shut for the "home health" study she intends to order AGAIN...


sonyasuzanne said...

You already know how I feel about your situation with Dr. SWWNBN....I'd trade you in a minute.  =)

However, the frige looking was a bit too pesky.  lol

She's forgiven, really though, seeing how she's taking such good care of you.