Saturday, June 24, 2006

Toto...We're Not In Kansas Anymore!

     UPS lost my house this week...actually, I'm not sure if they misplaced it or I did.  I certainly don't remember moving the building, but somehow they believe I did!

     During my most recent steroid craze, I did the unthinkable and got on line to "shop"...I ordered "things"...things I thought I "needed"...I had these things shipped to my house.  Everything arrived on schedule, except one package.  I got a postcard in the mail from the BROWN STORE requesting an "address correction" or they were going to return my final package back to the sending company.  They gave me two days to either drive across town and pick up my package or call them, so I chose to call on Friday.

     Yolanda, the somewhat curt UPS Customer Assistant, tried to help me on the phone in sorting out why my package was not delivered as planned.  It turned out sounding more like a skit of "Who's On First" by the Three Stooges.  The phone conversation went something like this:

Yolanda:  UPS.  Can I help you?

Silly Me:  Hi.  I received a postcard in the mail two days ago from UPS telling me you needed an address correction to deliver my package.  The address provided IS my correct address.

Yolanda:  Tracking number?

Silly Me:  Excuse me?  What are you asking me?

Yolanda:  Tracking number.  On the postcard.  What's your tracking number.

Silly Me: I'm sorry.  There's no such number listed on this card (turning it over and scanning both sides for numbers).  There's only a PTV# and a long number starting with the letter Z on here, butnothing that says "tracking number" beside it.

Yolanda:  (Heavy sigh)  What's your address then?

Silly Me:  It's blaty blah blaty blah in Seattle.

Yolanda:  And your corrected address?

Silly Me:  No that IS my correct address.  The one that's listed on the card and the one where this postcard came to.  Blaty blah blaty blah.  That's the correct address.

Yolanda:  I need your corrected address (she says with a "snip" of impatience in her voice)

Silly Me:  I'm telling you, that IS my correct address.

Yolanda:  Just a minute.  (I can hear snapping on a keyboard)  We need your CORRECTED address ma'am.  (Yolanda is clearly quite annoyed with me at this point)

Silly Me:  And I'm telling you that IS my correct, liveable address!  (And I am annoyed with Yolanda at this point, too)  UPS delivered a package earlier this week to this very address and now you can't find it?  I don't understand this.  You found it on Monday, but couldn't find the house on Tuesday.  The house didn't move and neither did I.  It's the same address for both days.  AND...UPS sent me a postcard through general mail to THIS address and it arrived here just fine.  Why would you send a postcard to an address you thought wasn't valid to tell me you NEEDED a valid address?  This really doesn't make much sense to me.  (I'm no longer hiding my annoyance and wearing it on my sleeve)

Yolanda:  (Long, deliberate pause)  Without a corrected address, you're going to HAVE to go to the UPS Center address listed on the card and pick up your package, ma'am.  (Yolanda says this very slowly and if I'm brain injured)

Silly Me:  OK.  Fine.  You win.  I'll just go today and pick it up then.

Yolanda:  What time will you be there?

Silly Me:  Excuse me?  Why is that important?

Yolanda:  (Now beyond annoyed with me)  Ma'am...(she drags out the word to two or three syllables)  What time will you be there?  We DO close, you know.

Silly Me:  Your card says the Center is open until 8:00PM tonight, correct?

Yolanda:  Yes, and what time will you be there?

Silly Me:  Ahhh...I'll be there sometime before 8:00PM then.  Will that work?

Yolanda:  Well, yes.  But we close at 8:00PM.

Silly Me:  Fine.  I'll be there sometime between 6:30PM and 8:00PM.  Will THAT work?

Yolanda:  (Now not speaking without long pauses) long as you're there BEFORE 8:00PM.  (Silence)  If you'd just provide your corrected address, ma'am, we could still deliver your package to you.

Silly Me:  Thank you, Yolanda.  You've been more than helpful.




hagartyjj said...

Don't you just hate how stupid people can be sometimes!  It seems to me that was pretty simple, just redeliver to the SAME address and this time maybe they need to go to mapquest for directions first!  :)  I hope you got your package without too much more inconvience.  Have a good weekend!  


sonyasuzanne said...

Ahhhhhh one of my joy's in life is playing games with these type of people.  Does that make me a bad person?  Probably so.....however, I just can't NOT DO IT....because they make it soooooo easy don't they?

Your conversation with this gal, in some wierd way, reminds me of something my Father In Law does when he attends 'trade shows'.  He always signs up using a 'fake name'.  Sometimes it's something like Mr. Sam Sclub, or something a bit more 'interesting' and can you believe these vendors will call his house asking for Mr. Sam Sclub??  

Okay, so I've shared how crazy and funny some of my family members are....but then you already knew that, right?   =o)