Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I Seem To Be "Listless"...

     I have always been a big calendar and list keeper.  I'd like to say this is because I have Multiple Sclerosis, but I have to face some facts:  I've kept lists my entire life as a means of staying organized.  It IS true that my list keeping has increased since my MS diagnosis, but MS was not the cause of my notorious "listing".

     At one point in my life, I used to manage 3 calendars and about 5 lists.  I HAVE been able to consolidate some of my anal organizing down to 2 calendars and 4 lists!  One of my calendars is work related, so I think I've pared down the monthly mania calendar-keeping as far as I can go.  After all, I do need some separation between work and my home life!

     The "listing" is an entirely different matter.  I keep a list of things I need to attend to in the immediate future, a list of things I'll do when I get "roundtoit", a list of things to follow up on that I've already taken care of, but needing not to be forgotten (like phone calls I'm waiting for a return call on), and finally a list shopping and/or household needs.  Whew!  I do keep a lot of lists to stay organized, but with the increased cognitive and memory problems of MS, I don't necessarily think my listing is THAT excessive...still anal, but not excessive!

     The problem surfaced today when I couldn't find my "lists"...I have no idea what I did with my little organizer notebook!  I usually keep things in specific places (because of this very reason) out of habit because I have found establishing a routine is very helpful...if I don't have to think about what I'm looking for, I can usually find it right where my brain has been trained to leave it.  Today has not been the case.

     I have trained myself soooo well in my list keeping...once I think to write something down or "list" it, I put it out of my mind and move on to the next thing.  After all, why clutter my brain with so many details when I can clutter paper to keep track of my life?!?  The problem is, I have no real recall of WHAT I write down on my lists until I see it again!

     Iwoke up this morning (in much cooler Western Washington weather...thank you for those who have been praying for my deliverance from hell!) knowing there were a few important things to do on my lists today...there were some things facing a deadline.  I went to my usual place where I keep my lists and could not find my organizer.  Consequently, I have torn up my home in search of my lists!  I simply can't recall what those DEADLINE issues are!!!  And I have no idea where I may have misplaced my lists.

     I finally have given up and decided to sit down and blog about it on the off chance "writing" about my lists will jog my memory and I might FIND my lists!  I never realized I'd be dead in the water without my organizer and now I am considering the idea of COPYING my original lists and placing the COPY somewhere else I might find it...but I suppose that would be TOO anal (people HAVE accused me of being anal-retentive in the past...go figure!).

     Someone once told me there were only two things in this life that were mandatory:  Death and Taxes.  I just hope neither one of those things were on my lists to do today!


hagartyjj said...

Are you a type A personality?  Or maybe it does have something to do with MS?  Maybe this is something the researchers should be looking into, HA!  I too have been know to keep lists and since my diagnosis it has gotten much worse that with my memory problems I actually purchased my last cell phone to have features that include a datebook (which includes the ability to call me and remind me of all those imporatant things I need to do)!  It seems that I have also become more OCD with my diagnosis (and I have heard this comment from other MS'ers.  Maybe it is our need to have some control over something, now that this illness has taken control over our body, who knows.  It is just good to know I am not the only one who is list obsessed!

It seems to be cooling off a bit here too (97` today).  I hope you are well.

Take care!


hagartyjj said... must excuse me...I think that 97` is still too hot...between that and the Avonex, I can't spell!  Sorry about all the spelling errors...I am usually much better (goes along with the OCD thing) I don't know what my deal is today!


sonyasuzanne said...

Girl, don't you remember you sent your lists to me in hopes that I might learn from your system for my procrastination problem????

I didn't really think you wanted all of them back!  Did you?  =o)


PS.  I make lists but lose them constantly.  Ahhhh....maybe I need a notebook to put everything in and make sure it's in one spot for easy finding?