I know this may sound a bit drastic, but I'm giving GREAT consideration to removing my right arm...if I only had the right tools to do this myself! How hard could it be, really?
Oh sure, I know you think I've finally lost my mind. And perhaps I have...but what I'd really like to "lose" is this useless right arm that's been hanging at my side and causing me pain! I'm just sick and tired of my arm feeling "pained and tired".
Now before you go calling the mental health authorities (which would be MY office anyway!), just hear me out. I don't think it's an unreasonable request to want to remove something that is causing so much discomfort and becoming virtually useless (except for that minor "balance" thing the arm provides). And I KNOW I'd function much better without this constant, gnawing pain. It's just right now, the pain in my right arm trumps the pain in my left, so I feel I have to choose one of them to lose...and I choose the right one. I'm left-hand dominant.
Yes, I've tried the pain medications, the seizure medications, the heat and ice applications, the biofeedback methods, the immobilizing techniques, the "ignoring it" stance...none of these things has brought me any relief thus far. And I've grown weary waiting for any change on the horizon...I'm just not a very patient person!
I think we SHOULD be allowed to remove appendages that serve no purpose or have become useless over time. We should be allowed to unscrew them and attach a new, better working model...too bad most of them don't come with a detachment mode! I'm rather surprised some doctor hasn't already developed this procedure. After all, it IS the Western culture dream to live forever...removable appendages would certainly help facilitate this type of longevity.
I suppose the major drug companies would be against removable appendages or replacement appendages, however. Considering the money they are raking in on products like Viagra...yeah, they'd DEFINTELY block this.