Thursday, April 5, 2007

Take Two Aspirin And Call Me In The Morning...

     Well, not exactly.  Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named instructions were to take a handful of Verapamil and see if this helps my eye pain/headache!'s still here.  That vise-pressing pain in my left eye.  Nothing to date has helped relieve this pain and optic neuritis has been ruled "out"...rumor has it on the streets, I may just be experiencing my first MIGRAINE.

     I started out my day with a visit to my favorite Nurse Practitioner's office, PP...I had this appointment scheduled well over two months ago as it was time for my every-two-year physical.  You know the "one"...where no opening on the body is left unexplored.  LOL

     I gimped into her office and threw myself down in a chair.  My blood pressure was elevated.  Her assistant asked me if this was because I was in pain?  "Duh", almost fell out of my mouth, but I restrained my vocal chords.

     Yes, I WAS in about a class 6-7 pain mode (the worst pain I ever had in my life caused me to pass out, so that's my "10" on the pain scale).  Yes, my B/P was most likely elevated to 135/100 because my left eye felt like someone had grabbed it from behind with a pair of pliers.  I tried to be pleasant to the assistant, but I just wasn't in the mood.

     Put on the gown and strip down to the socks...was there anything in particular I needed to talk with PP about?  Again, "duh", was sitting with a tremendous fidget on my lips...I bit my tongue as I let the assistant know I would speak directly to PP about my "issues", thank you very much.

     PP entered the room, took one look at me, and inquired "what's wrong?"  I proceeded to fill her in on my litany of complaints while she dutifully responded in kind with "ahuh's" and "oh's!" to each of my rehearsed lines...after all, one cannot waste time in these's best to go prepared with a list.  LOL

     She listened intently (which is all the more reason she remains my FAVORITE Nurse Practitioner!), took notes, and started to address each complaint systematically.  She proceeded through the motions of the "physical" while I told jokes in a feeble attempt to normalize the fact my knees were up in the air and PP's head was much to close to my Cha-Cha.

     PP had blood work drawn, talked to me about my peri-menopausal symptoms (like how quickly "duh" flies off my lips in fits of hormonal agitation!) and told me to wait in her office while she consulted an ophthalmologist.  I did as I was told.

     The wait was short and she returned to my darkened room to tell me I was to go immediately to said Op Doc's office a few blocks away for an eye consult...PP obviously has more "pull" in the medical community than I give her credit for!  I gathered my things and again, did as I was told.

     The Op Doc's office was only a short wait before 11 year old, Doogie Houser, came out to take me to HIS darkened exam room...the poor man appeared to be young enough to be my son and I was sure I saw a glistening wetness behind his little ears (he WAS barely wet behind the ears!).

     Doogie/Op Doc examined my eyes...he dilated my eyes (without warning, I might add), he peered inside the windows to my brain, and announced "everything looks good".  I thought this was rather funny for an eye doctor to say..."looks good"...he didn't understand why I was chuckling.

     Doogie reassured me my optic nerves were intact in both eyes and there did not appear to be any inflammation or external cause for my pain...he needed to consult with Mother PP.  He returned to tell me Mother PP wanted me to contact Dr. SWWNBN for follow up...I asked why?  He told me he didn't know, but didn't want to get in "the middle of it".  Bless his heart.  I think he may have ALREADY gotten too far in the middle of things!  LOL

     I left his office to go outside with my completely blown pupils, only to discover, the one day out of the year the sun just HAD to shine in Seattle, was today.  I could barely see to drive, but decided why should THIS minor event stop me from becoming a potential auto fatality?  I rubbed Buddha's belly and got in my car, saying my prayers to the Highway Heaven and drove home.  Somehow I managed to make the 15 mile trek home with only one eye open and my left eye watering like a hose.

     I promptly emailed Dr. SWWNBN...she promptly emailed me back.  If this wasn't optic neuritis, she was placing her bets on migraine.  I was considering leafing through the Yellow Pages to see if anyone was still performing lobotomies...for HER, not me!

     Migraine???  But I've never had a headache in my life, I proudly emailed back.  There are only a few things I take such pride in and one of them is my self-proclaimed idea I have NEVER had a headache without a cause (such as concussions, meningitis, etc.)...that, and the fact I like to rub it in that my bladder works JUST fine, thank you very much!  I AM a proud person, after all.

     Why in hell's name would I be experiencing my first headache/migraine at age 42? fingers were hot on the keyboard as I searched for any other plausible explanation for my pain.  Dr. SWWNBN swiftly emailed me back (like a shot to my heart) and informed my stoopid self, "Migraines and MS are quite common".  That was it.  The doctor had spoken.  The verdict was in...and the jury of one convicted me.  I am having a migraine.

     I'm new to this headache world, so pardon me if I am a bit "poo poo" about this event.  I DID agree to try Verapamil (a cardiac calcium channel blocker, I think?)...but only under duress...this pain is KILLING me!'s NOT actually killing me, but I'm almost to the point with it I "wish" it would!  I've had many and various "pains" in my life (some in my neck, some in my arse LOL), but I've never had this type of pressure in my head before.  I am learning a greater empathy for those who suffer from's pretty friggin' miserable.

     So, I'm off to drug myself with Verapamil, Zanaflex, Mirapex, and anything else I can find that might stupefy me for a few hours of sleep.  And I am hoping when I wake up in the morning, this new little migraine friend will have relocated...I'd say maybe to YOUR house, but I wouldn't wish this kind of discomfort on anyone!...I  humbly bow to you MS migraine suffers...

1 comment:

kattytrick said...

    Sorry to hear about your unfortunate migrain headache and the frustrations that seem to accompany (said ailment) in abundance.. ...I almost said just now, that it's a real pain in the ass...but that's a problem more south of this one huh?
    I how ever, love your slant on things, and the guifted way you express your self. Your sence of humor is so refreshing. I would like to know where it came from as I would like to place my order for a ga-zilliom cases. (and do they take coupons?)
    Also, may I suggest,  that along with your NEW meds. you could try a comfortably warm (really warm actually) compress... which goes like this: ( 1) wash rag  (2) hot water from sink  (3) wring it out  (4) go lay down  (5) lay said wash rag accross your protesting peepers---and just chill for a spell. (repeat if nessary) while you are laying down to recoperate. I've experianced more of these little demans then I care to elaborate on right now, and this has helped me out on more then one occasion...........Hope it helps you too..Good luck.
                                                                                                                             P.S...I also like the title for your A.O.L Journal...(Brain
             If you have time, click onto my journals site and check out what I've named mine..... :- } .....again, Good Luck to ya with this Migrain thing okay? ttfn